My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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