No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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