seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
