its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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