just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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