i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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