now i know why i became what i already was.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
