I want to make a zoo with you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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