i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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