Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
