They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
