My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
