We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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