Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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