Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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