i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
