tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
