"it" just moved
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
