I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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