He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She tied me up with her honor cords...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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