remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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