Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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