the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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