I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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