how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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