he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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