I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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