Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
