life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize