I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize