i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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