no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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