Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
