He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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