absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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