yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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