no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh god it's open bar.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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