Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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