it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the condom got lost in my hair
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
