he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am mentally ready for anal.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
