i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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