i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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