Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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