Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
