i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
