the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
