I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
