no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
