Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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