We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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