im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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