yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
