i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
