Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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