Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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