bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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