escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
