Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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