Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
