It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize