I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
