i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
